I was not a good mom when my babies were newborns. Neither me nor my husband liked to be interrupted by baby cries. I know how this sounds. Selfish. Which was probably true.
Perhaps we weren’t ready to be parents. But I remember feeling dread when my babies started to cry, and my husband and I would tell each other, “It’s your turn.”
Our babies were toddlers when we went to visit some friends to congratulate them on their new arrival. The baby was asleep in another room when we arrived, but after a while, the baby cried to get up. The dad jumped up to go get his new baby and said that he and his wife would race to see who got to feed the baby. This was so different from my husband and me.
Of course I loved my newborns, and I’m sure there were times this couple collapsed from exhaustion, but when I saw how much they both enjoyed their baby, I thought, “I could do better. If I had another chance, I could do better”.
I didn’t get another chance. I didn’t have a third baby, but I did commit to being the best mom I can be for my two kiddos. It’s been and still is a constant lesson. They are teenagers now, and I only have a few years left before they fly the coop. The time is precious.
In a larger context, I don’t want to get to the end of my life, look back and think “I could do better, if I had another chance I could do better.” Life is a one way road. Whatever I want to do, however I want to be, I better do it now, and stop letting my fears and shortcomings hold me back.
ideastudios.blog 