Insecurity is a wasted emotion.

Be Confident

Insecurity is a wasted emotion. It’s a waste of time and energy. You can’t get to know anyone, you can’t accomplish anything worthwhile, you can’t even have fun if you’re all sticky with insecurity. Insecurity means you’re only thinking about you. Believe me, I have known insecurity and I’m so over it.

I’ve been to parties where I was afraid to talk to anyone. I married a guy who’s very socially confident. The first few times we went to large gatherings, I hoped he was going to stay by my side and help me finally feel comfortable at parties. He did not. He abandoned me as soon as we entered the party, at least that’s how it felt to me. I later explained to him that I didn’t want him to abandon me at parties. I wanted him to stand right next to me and keep me safe. Basically, I wanted to crawl under his skin and have him absorb me. Luckily, he didn’t oblige.

I’m no longer that person. I can hold my own at any party. I can stand by myself pretty much anywhere, even without a phone in my hand. 

I learned to be confident at parties and have the most fun I’ve ever had.

How? By learning to ensure the people around you are having fun. Not in an annoying, people pleasing way, but I play a game with myself to see if I can make others feel more comfortable. My favorite is to see if I can make people laugh. The magic to confidence is: stop thinking about yourself.

Be confident in who you are. 

Become a small talk master. The best way to enjoy small talk is to get the other person talking. Mary kay Ash says, “pretend every person you meet has a sign around their neck that says, make me feel important”. I have friends who ask how I’m doing and then ask follow up questions. After we say goodbye I always feel like we have the greatest conversations. Not until later do I realize that I never asked about them. It sounds selfish on my part, but it’s amazing to watch how their curiosity and interest in others is so energizing.