Rachel Hollis, of The Chic site, is a business badass. She moved to LA, by herself, when she was 17, started her own event planning business not long after that, and now runs a lifestyle mega-business with her husband. She has a huge following, keynotes to sold out events, and is a best-selling author and speaker. Pretty much, she’s my hero.
She wrote the wildly successful book, “Girl, Wash Your Face.” One part made me tear up a little, because I recognize myself in her. The need to prove myself, the need to always get things done, as if I’m trying to save myself by staying busy.
Few things give me anxiety like a day with nothing planned.
Rachel calls herself a workaholic. She says, “The need to prove my worth, coupled with the fact that I’m good at my career, made me one heck of a workaholic.”
She writes about making herself sick from the stress of working too much. She got Bell’s Palsy, twice. I’ve had that shit, and it ain’t fun!
She got Vertigo, that she couldn’t shake. She says, “I resigned myself to the fact that life would be a little dizzier forever. It wasn’t a big deal, I told myself. It only meant that instead of giving 100 percent, I now would need to give 130 percent to make up for not being able to work fast anymore. It may sound crazy to write that, but in my overachieving mind, it made absolute sense.”
“In every single instance, my vertigo was a physical response to an emotional problem.”
Her Vertigo got so bad that she went to see a healer. He asked questions and listened to her and then told her to:
“Go home and do nothing.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Go home and do nothing. Sit around, watch TV, spend an entire day on the sofa. Discover that your world doesn’t implode without you going a hundred miles an hour. Get up the next day and do it again.”
“What would happen to you if you stopped moving?” He asked me.
I shook my head in blind panic. The image of a shark floating to the surface of the ocean, dead from lack of movement, came to mind.” All I could think was, I don’t know, but it will be bad.
I forced myself to stop working so many hours. I went to the office from nine thirty to four thirty and was shocked to discover that the world continued to spin on its axis. I pushed myself to rest and do nothing. It gave me massive anxiety, so I poured myself a glass of wine and kept right on sitting there. I looked for joy. I looked for peace.
I stopped drinking so much caffeine. I played with my kids. I did a lot of therapy. And then I did some more. I prayed. I looked up every scripture in the Bible that talks about rest. I had dinner with my girlfriends. I went on dates with my husband”.
She says, sometimes, “I still feel compelled to work until I’m exhausted, physically ill, pissed off at the world, or unable to focus my eyes-but at least they don’t all happen at the same time anymore. I feel like I’m gaining on this problem.”
I’m not there yet. I don’t have dinner with my girlfriends, I don’t go on dates with my husband. We do have a movie night every Friday, and I read to my kid and we watch popular science videos on youtube as I drift off to sleep every night. This is non-negotiable, and a favorite part of my day, but I usually stop working around 9:00 pm for this.
This is one of my life lessons. One that I learn over and over again. Slow down, take a breath. Recover. Rest. Don’t make the other people in your life crazy.
Here’s what I want, here is all I want: meaningful, fulfilling work where I can move at a steady pace. Trusting that money that is abundant. Knowing that we have enough for our needs. Family and friends that are close. Knowing that there is always work to be done and time to do it.
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