I love the Winona Rider version of Little Women. As a teenager, I watched it over and over. I remember when Meg attends Sally Moffat’s coming out party, a very fancy affair. The girls there have different priorities than Meg. But the girls take Meg in, dress her up for the night and make her feel special. She gets lots of male attention. Laurie, a wealthy young man who is in love with Meg’s sister, Jo, ridicules Meg for being untrue to herself and she gets upset.
After the party, Meg saysto her mother: “It was nice to be praised and admired, I couldn’t help but like it.”
To which her mother replies, “Of course not, I only care what you think of yourself. If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear that someday you might find yourself believing that’s all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the wonderful workings of your mind. Your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage, these are the things I cherish so in you.”
When I saw this scene, I honestly thought, what else is there besides being hot?” Like, for real, that’s how shallow I was, and honestly it took me years to believe that people are so much more than the way they look.
I’m not saying looks aren’t important, of course they are. We’re attracted first to physical appearance, but there is so much more. If we want to live our best life, and attract the best people into our lives, we need to develop ourselves in every area, including, but not limited to character, relationships, career skills, fitness, and contribution to humanity.
When I was a teenager, I wrote a list of what I wanted in a husband. I’m sure it included something like brown eyes, dark and handsome, and has money.
Now, I see things differently. My list would include:
Kind
Hard working
Stands up for what is right and speaks the truth
Able to apologize and forgive
A sense of humor, especially when life gets hard
A drive to make the world a better place
Consciousness
Energy to engage in life
Focused on their own and community health
A desire to keep their space clean and orderly
A willingness to give 10% of income to charities
A desire to continually grow personally
A desire for knowledge
Someone who brings out the best in me, and vice versa
Someone who we can act independently, but still come together
Easy to talk to
Could be dangerous, but doesn’t
Now, I have to look at that list and see how I measure up.
Here’s my challenge to you: write characteristics of the person you want to be with. Now, look at yourself and start to develop those qualities, because the better person you are, the better person you will attract.
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