Curl Your Hair Girl!

Looking our best signifies to others and ourselves that we are thriving. This is real. Jordan B. Peterson

I have a dear friend whose Instagram posts highlight her amazing zen yoga life. I love her posts, they reassure me that she is doing well. Until I see her in person. And find that she has the same problems she’s always had. Mainly money and love problems. She’s usually more falling apart than having it together. It makes me really sad. All the reassurance that she is doing well wilts and worry takes its place.

When I hit my own rough patches, and am more falling apart than put together, I can sometimes go days without taking a shower. I’ll catch glimpses in the mirror of a bedraggled woman who doesn’t even have the energy to wash her hair. When I am doing well, I take better care of myself.

After realizing that I was looking for assurance that my friend is doing well, I thought other people might want that assurance about me. I wanted to find a way other than Instagram posts to assure my peeps that I am thriving.

So I started to curl my hair.

And something interesting happened: I would catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and think, “I really am on top of things, I curled my hair today.”

It was like a signal to my brain that I’m doing well.

I bought myself a fun package of colorful socks recently that had the same effect. I’m not advocating retail therapy, but seeing those new, colorful socks on my toes assured my mind that I am thriving. It was just a little signal that I’m taking care of what needs to be taken care of. I looked at my toes and saw fresh socks, instead of looking down and seeing holy socks that I just kept wearing anyway.

There are other small cues we can give ourselves that we are thriving. Like making our bed everyday. I’ve heard this advice on at least 4 podcasts. It gives our brain the signal that our lives are in order and we are the champions who put ourselves there.

My challenge to you is to observe yourself and find small but powerful ways give your brains the assurance that you are thriving.